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My wife's cousin, Frank Snyder, former Business Manager of Georgetown College, Georgetown, KY, said their church public address system often picked up passing CB talk, some too embarrassing to tell here. But the timing on this was perfect. Just as the pastor asked members to bow for the morning prayer, the CB of a passing truckerk blared over their sound system, "YOU GOT YER EARS ON?!" Use it to make a serious point about the importance of listening as you pray. Or to get their attention in the church paper for an article of extreme importance.

Dr. Bill Hendricks, retired seminary professor from Fort Worth, Texas, reports that at the climax of the play, "The Prodigal Son," the father shouted, "Bring hither the CATTED FALF!" Use it to promote a drama performance or a cast call for an upcoming drama, or to promote a big church dinner.

Jim Powell, now a stewardship specialist with the Southern Baptist Convention, said this one happened at an early country pastorate. Fortunately, the sides of the galvanized stock tank by the side of the church building discretely blocked the view of the crowd. The woman was unaware. And Jim -- so he claims -- didn't peek. Use it as an illustration in your newsletter accompanying the announcement of a baptismal service. Use it as an illustration with a story about the work of the Baptismal Committee.

Sometimes it's hard to carry on a conversation with all the distractions of a church service. One girls found it so. While the chairman of deacons was introducing the pulpit committee, one girl was trying to tell her friend about being chased by a bull. "I was so scared," she said, "my heart was pulpitating!" Use it as an illustration in your newsletter accompanying the announcement of a pulpit committee or giving news about the committee's progress.

It's always dangerous to try to show off children before company. This woman said she asked her son to say the blessing when she invited the preacher for dinner. Being shy, he hesitated, saying he didn't know what to say. "Just say what you've heard Momma say, hon." And he DID. Verbatim! Use it as an overhead illustrating a talk on the importance of being an example for our children. Use it to illustrate an article on hospitality.

One of the greatest fears a minister has is that he will forget the name of the bride or groom at a critical point in the marriage ceremony. Rev. Bob Barker, pastor from Chickasaw, Ala., was worried about it until he realized that by calling the bride by her nickname he could use alliteration as a memory hook. So he looked at Kitty and Sydney at the end of the ceremony and called them Kidney and Sydney. Use it: To call attention to a lengthy list of wedding announcements during "marrying season." Use it: As a spot illustration alongside an announcement about a sermon on marriage.

This was shared by Dr. Brian Harbour, pastor of First Baptist Church, Richardson, Texas, where I am a member. Use this as a spot illustration to draw attention to a children's Scripture memory class or contest. Use this as a spot illustration alongside an announcement about a sermon on lies. Use this as an overhead to lighten a sermon or Bible study about lying.

Carolyn Blackwell, wife of Dr. James Blackwell, pastor of South Park Baptist Church, Beaumont, Texas, sent this one. A fellow member said, "Please pray for my husband, Bob. He has one of those hyena hernias!" Use this In a pastor's column or as a humorous illustration during announcements, make the point that God is interested in all our needs, and nothing is too trivial for us to bring to Him in prayer. Even our hyena hernias!

The child enjoyed the sights and sounds of his first day at "Big Church." The crowds, the music, everything. But Dr. Brian Harbour, pastor of First Baptist Church, Richardson, Texas, said, "My 'commercial' was obviously too long and too boring for him. I saw that there was no way he was going to make it through the entire sermon. "Sure enough," said Harbour, "I saw his father sweep him up, throw him up to his shoulder, and start marching out. And I knew good and well what was going to happen as soon as he was out of earshot. The child was too young to last through the service, but he was old enough to know the language of Zion! He waved his little arms at the congregation and said, 'Oh, people of God! Pray for me!" Use this as a spot cartoon for the bulletin on Children's Dedication Sunday, or the day after Promotion Sunday when a new class comes to "Big Church" for the first time. Or as a spot cartoon in a mailer to parents whose children are about to graduate from "Children's Church" to "Big Church."

Dr. Charles Bowles was preaching in a revival at First Baptist Oak
Cliff, Dallas, Texas, where I was a member. He told a story about how his mother once caught him stealing. Shaking with emotion at the overwhelming sense of guilt that lingered with him still, he said, "I looked up and saw two pairs of shoes ... and in them ... my Mother's feet!" This would make a good sermon illustration about how impossible it is to sneak away from the all-seeing eye of God. We just think there is such a thing as "secret sin."